Funny movie quotes.

Alrighty, here's the overview of this topic. Post a quote from a movie you thought was funny,
if there is any cussing censor it, also probably some spoilers here and there in the topic.

Quote :

Jedediah: Fire up the iron horse, boys.
Larry: Hey, blondie!
Jedediah: Names Jedediah.
Larry: Jedediah, stop the train, please!
Jedediah: No can do, crackerjack.
Larry: Whats going on here?
Jedediah: Somebodys got to pay.
Larry: Pay for what?
Jedediah: I don't know, just pay! Now stop whining and take it like a man!
Larry: Seriously, stop the train!
Jedediah: Alright, stop the train.
Larry: Thank you.
Jedediah: NOW FULL SPEED AHEAD AND RAM HIM! SPLIT HIS HEAD LIKE A WATERMELON!
Larry: [Train hits Larry] Ooh! Ow...
Jedediah: Oh, for crying out loud!
-
Larry: You're an old man, I don't want to fight you.
[Gus punches Larry in the face]
-
Jedediah: I told you, I don't like to be manhandled!
Larry: No, I will manhandle you, Jedediah! Now listen, guys, what is your problem, huh? Why can't you just get along?
Jedediah: Look, we're men. We fight, okay? That's what we do!
Octavius: Its kinda how we pass the time.
Jedediah: No problemo, Gigantor.
Larry: Um, my names Larry, first of all okay, Jed? See I call you Jed, I don't call you tiny.
Jedediah: What's that supposed to mean?
Larry: Hey teeny, how does that sound?
Jedediah: I... I don't like it. It hurts my feelings.
Larry: Okay, well Gigantor makes me sound like a freak.
Octavius: I don't. I just call you Larry.
Larry: Don't be a kiss-*ss.
-
Teddy Roosevelt: [after seeing Larry slapping Dexter] Good Lord, Lawrence! Why are you slapping a monkey?
-
Easter Island Head: Hey! Dum-dum!
Larry: Yes?
Easter Island Head: You give me gum-gum!
Larry: I give you gum-gum?
Easter Island Head: You new Dum-dum. You give me gum-gum.
Larry: Gee, okay, you know what? I have no gum-gum. Sorry. And my name isn't Dum-dum. My name's Larry.
Easter Island Head: No, your name Dum-dum.
[People screaming]
Easter Island Head: Oh, you in trouble, Dum-dum. You'd better run-run. From Attila the Hun-hun.
[Larry runs as Attila and his gang are chasing him]
Easter Island Head: See you later, Dum-dum!
-
Larry: [on his second night at the museum] Morning, dum-dum.
Easter Island Head: Me no dum-dum. You dum-dum. You bring me gum-gum?
Larry: Yes I did, fathead.
[holds up a handful of gum]
Larry: Lots and lots of gum-gum.
Easter Island Head: Mmm!
-
Gus: He looks like a weirdy!
-
[about Sacajawea]
Larry: Was she deaf? She seems a bit unresponsive.
Rebecca: That's because she's a statue...
-
Teddy Roosevelt: [Monkey slaps Larry on the head, Larry retaliates] Lawrence, who's evolved?
Larry: [looks up at Dexter] Hey, Dex, so, look. No hard feelings, all right?
Teddy Roosevelt: [Dexter slaps Larry in the forehead and Larry raises his clipboard to hit him] Lawrence!
Larry: You saw - you saw what he did just then...
Teddy Roosevelt: [interupting him] Who's evolved?
Larry: I am.
Teddy Roosevelt: Who's evolved?
Larry: I am!
-
Gus: Listen up, Lunch Box!
Gus: Do you want the job or not, snack shack?
-
Larry: [speaking to Civil War diorama figures] Civil war dudes... You guys are brothers for G*d's sake... You gotta stop fighting... North wins... Slavery is bad... Sorry... Don't want to burst your bubble but South you guys get Allman Brothers...
[hesitates]
Larry: ...and... Nascar. So just chill!
-
Larry: [showing lighter to cavemen] Hey guys? Quest for fire, over.
-
[Jed and Octavius are popping Cecil's tires, and they are about to be blown away]
Octavius: Go! Save yourself!
Jedediah: [holding on to Octavius] I ain't quittin' you!
-
Larry: Moose! I told you, you're not going to fit through with those antlers! So you and your caribou buddies have to go around back.
-
Larry: Ah yes, he was our fourth president, right?
Rebecca: Twenty-sixth
-
Jedadiah: I'm gonna shoot you in your dang eye. In your dadgum eye.
[gun clicks empty]
Larry: Yeah. Keep shootin'. Nothing's gonna happen.
Jedadiah: Now you know my shame. Jedediah's impotent rage. His guns don't fire. Take me away.
-
Jedediah: Whoa whoa whoa, Octavius ! What are you doing, this here giant's on our land!
-
Sacajawea: [Trying to track Cecil and examining the tire tracks in the snow] He went east, but he lost control and crashed
Larry: You're amazing! How can you tell that?
Sacajawea: [Points behind them where the van has crashed into the wall behind the dumpster]
-
Larry: I'm trusting you guys, and if you don't do what I say you'll end up like your buddies in the Mayan world over there, locked up. Do they look happy?
[Shows a display with bars across it]
Jedediah: [Shakes head] No. They look sad.
-
Larry: Listen, Octavus, you gotta stop that!
Octavius: It's "Octavius", Mary.
-
Larry: Debbie - can I call you Debbie? When I entered this office I thought I felt a connection.
Debbie: I didn't feel a connection.
-
Gus: Instructions; you start with 1... 2... 3...
Larry: 4?
Gus: Are you cracking wise? I oughta punch you in the nose Hopscotch
-
Taxi Driver: Now who they gon' get to clean up all that doo-doo?
-
Reginald: [while trying to escape, Reginald is found by Christopher Columbus and the Neanderthals]
Reginald: Alright, boys. We can do this the easy way,
Reginald: [holds his cane in a threatening manner]
Reginald: or the hard way.
Christopher Columbus: [Columbus brandishes his sword and the Neanderthals raise their giant bones]
Reginald: [scared] So, it's gonna be the hard way?
Christopher Columbus: [In Italian] E' tutto finito.
-
Teddy Roosevelt: [after being cut in half by a stagecoach] Oh. That's problematic.
-
Larry: All right! Let's do this, people! And... animals! And... weird faceless puppet creatures!
Jedediah: Wait, no. I ain't working with Toga Boy.
Octavius: Romans work alone.
[Jedediah hits him on his foot with his rifle]
Octavius: OW!
Jedediah: Don't be a baby, that didn't hurt.
Octavius: [while hopping on one foot] Yes it did!
Jedediah: No it didn't! Come on!
Octavius: [hits Jedediah's behind with his sword]
Jedediah: Ow! That was MUCH harder!
-
Larry: I'm not a giant. You guys are just really little.
Octavius: We may be small but our hearts are LARGE... metaphorically speaking.
-
Easter Island Head: [shouts] Quiiiiieeeeeeettttt!
[silence]
Easter Island Head: My dum-dum wants to speak.

From Night at the museum 1

i carly




Always remember NEVER forget. Sam carly:I forget.....

I would quote something from Austin Powers but I'd prefer not burn out your eyes. Instead I'll quote something from an easier to tolerate movie on this site. Beware-

Quote :

*waves a stick near Bella with a worm on it* Look, Bella, It's a worm! It's a worm!

I'll find a funnier one later.

Mean Girls:
Betsy Heron: Where's Cady?
Chip Heron: She went out.
Betsy Heron: She's grounded.
Chip Heron: Are they not allowed out when they're grounded?